As mentioned in my January post this year has been dedicated for family and personal endeavours.
2019 is to focus on establishing the foundations for my family with the goal of becoming self-sufficient in the years ahead.
I know that this objective will be achieved but it is taking a toll.
My daily job and weekend visits to my ill mother slipping away before me is draining me to the point where everything around me is dull.
I come home exhausted and find myself irritated, uncommunicative and unable to enjoy the simple things.
The lustre of simple things have shined away.
The desire to explore diminished.
The smiles are masked by a growing shadow of blues.
These are the facts of life many would say and to overcome these things is to look deep inwards and to recapture the light.
However, you can never recapture the light as it has changed. Life has changed. The reality around me changed.
I need to create a new light but how?
The light needs to be creative and technical.
It needs to be one that will inspire.
I don’t have time though to really think.
To go deep into my mind and to unwind and decompress.
A simple walk or mediation is not working.
This is very strange indeed.
Mark M.
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